Greater Milwaukee Men

Spread Kindness, not the virus. It's a different time right now, there's no understating that, but when times are tough its as important - more important - to maintain our social graces, our etiquette. I'm not going to get into how physically distance, what to do to slow the spread. There are enough resources on that. Just this one comment: trust science. Look for resources by medical, health, and scientific professionals, experts. But let's all work together to try to spread kindness, not the virus. Being nice, being good to people is more important than ever.

A friend recently posted an article on social media that got my attention for various reasons. The Adopt a rider (motorcyclist) concept in this RevZilla article speaks to me as a motorcyclist myself but also a rider, and also the concept works for other cases as well and all tie into my hope that we all could adopt the Golden Rule when driving. "Everyone' knows the Golden Rule, here's my take on it when driving: ask yourself "what if I was in their shoes?" A little conscientiousness goes a long way, and when on the road it can help everyone. If we all looked around us and treated other people on the road the way we would want to be treated if in their situation it would reduce stress, even travel times.

This is how a rival fan was received in Green Bay Canada may be said to have the nicest people on the planet, but we Wisconsinites are close in geography and if you ask us on par or even better in hospitality. As it turns out, its not just what we think of ourselves but others as well - including rival fans of our beloved Packers. WXRT radio from Chicago, home of our rival Bears, just featured a post from a host (hey that rhymes) who happens to be a 49ers fan and watched his team just eke out a win (did you see how close the game ending FG got to being blocked?) over the Pack at Lambeau. In the post, and many comments by Illinoisans, he proclaims his admiration for how nice the fans at Lambeau were to him - even in defeat.

In an Esquire blog post, the esteemed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar presents 20 Things Boys Can Do To Become Men . Unlike what you may expect from today's athletes, his post is a well-thought out and truly valid list. I recommend it highly for anyone trying to be a Great Man, though points for what boys can and should do it is what we all should do. If you have boys yourself share it with them. You can read his entire post with all 20 points and his enlightened discussion of them, but seeing as they all support our values  in the code: A Great Man man strives to be Compassionate, Decisive, Enterprising, and Sincere, I thought I would list them here under the value I think they help reinforce.

The other day I was leaving a local café when a man at one of the tables dropped a part of his newspaper as I walked past. I noticed and bent to pick it up for him. He gave me a surprised look - maybe because he didn't expect manners from a younger generation, maybe he didn't expect someone to help him because he was a man (versus a woman), or maybe he just didn't expect anyone to even notice and make the tiny effort so he didn't have to get out of his chair. There are many things this could have inspired me to write about such as the gender or age gaps, but it hit me that the last one was an important part of being a Great Man, a gentleman - simply noticing things. After all if we don't see things happening around us - we aren't attentive  - how can we take action, respond or attend to the needs of others.

When I first I had the idea for this article it was to be about my philosophy that we should take action on how it affects this life and not the next. I was all set to call it simply 'Act For Now, Not Later' but then I realized I had written something akin to that already - in the Well-Met Code . It dawned on me that since I came up with the code I haven't written much about it or even referenced it that much other than  using it's Virtues as categories for posts. Seeing as they play an important role in how I look at what I create here at Well-Met, I should expand on them. So I will start here with the code in general and over the next weeks highlight each of the four virtues separately. The roots of this started today with a social media platform where I saw a quote by Mae West (okay she's a woman and I normally only quote men here, but wait for it): "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

You probably have heard of Etsy by now, but probably from women, and never thought of it as a place to check out stuff for men. But oh, it is. You just have to know where and/or how to look. I recently found a vendor with a print perfect for the Well-Met man as well as another blog on typography with an exhibit of similar prints. If you don't know what Etsy is, it is a web site where people can buy and sell handmade or vintage items, art and supplies. While some of that can sound like a crafty chick's site, there is plant of stuff for men - they even have a Men's category to search by. Items for men handmade can mean items out of leather, and metal, and wood while vintage means, well, vintage - think Mad Men.

OK so some of these 'months' 'weeks' and 'days' are getting a little too numerous and out there, but I think this is one we all should pay at least a little attention to. July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month - as created by some etiquette 'expert'. It started with cell phones: not turning them off, taking calls, and other transgressions. Now we have smart phones where we can play with apps and search the web all while with other people. In some ways I think we are going to have to learn to live with a new set of rules where it is appropriate to use our personal devices, but I also agree that we all can be more conscious of the right and wrong ways and times to use them.

A friend on a social network recently posted an article on the 25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9 , and noted that adults should know them too. I wholeheartedly concur and wonder, for adults lacking - did they never learn, or did they forget or unlearn them? In the list are the usual suspects like saying please and thank you, but here are the ones I think are important to being a Well-Met Man: Manner #4  If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation. Manner #6  The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults. Manner #8  When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are. Manner #12  Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect. Manner #17  If you...

I swear sometimes I think people think the net, web, social media, whatever you want to call, is more like a personal bulletin board than the very public freely accessible vehicle that it is. It is as if they think that their post will only be read by people they know or like and forget that really anyone can see it. Here is a rule I think everyone should follow when sending an e-mail, posting a comment, or responding to something: would you share that to someone your coworkers? Facebook is a prime example where people post something that they think will only be seen by their friends. But who are your friends? How far have you branched out to add people? And do you realize that posts can be shared? But a personal Facebook comment is one thing where at least there are some controls over viewership.

One of the things I think that makes a Well-Met man is tipping appropriately. That means tipping well. I will get onto regular tipping etiquette in a few, but here is a new article I just saw that is something I never thought of - the benefits to the service person of tipping in cash even if paying the bill in plastic. Read the article and think about it next time you go out - make sure you have cash on you for any tips. Back to tipping etiquette in general. Common knowledge is to tip at 15%, however I am a firm believer in tipping well in most situations. For wait staff for example, I usually go right to the 20%, and may go down to 15% for less than stellar service. I also don't believe in statement tips. Either tip or don't. Make a statement by not tipping, not by leaving say 5% or just a dollar bill as the tip. If you really had that bad of service, do the person, the business, and future customers a favor and talk to the manager instead. You may get something out of it. ...

Found another great 'gentleman' quote today, this one by the Dalai Lama: If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them. This repeats the messages of philanthropy, manners, and hints at the ethic of reciprocity. It also reminds me of the traditional message we have gotten from mothers and teachers throughout our lives: 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' Not to mention a kindness spin on the modern 'Put up or shut up.' I love how just two words out of there can really define and be the code of the gentleman: help others. This is because it can be taken on many layers. Start simply with just helping people you meet everyday - open the door for someone with their arms full or with a cart or carriage. Expand to helping people you don't know through work with charities and philanthropy. And as the saying goes you can't help others if you aren't able - physically, emotionally, fis...

The Values.com quote of the day today is a great quote that speaks directly to being a Gentleman: “If you want trust, trust others. If you want respect, respect others. If you want help, help others. If you want love and peace in your life, give them away. If you want great friends, be one. That’s how it works. ” - Dan Zadra - Businessman, inspirational writer It's basically a longer, spelled out, version of The Golden Rule - the Ethic of Reciprocity - which is present in nearly all world religions and philosophies, a great article on this can be found here . On a side note, I am not a religious person mostly because I am against the arrogance that any one  concept is the absolute correct one (not to mention the strife and wars associated just to religions - but I digress), but the quote used to start this article is  pretty neat: "God has made different religions to suit different aspirations, times, and countries. All doctrines are only so many paths; but...

Today I went to the Milwaukee Art Museum with friends and their boys to see a Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit. Always good to see Mr.  Wright's work and not just his visual, but also his philosophical ideas. This is one of my favorites - I have a t-shirt of it and also a card with it at my work desk. In many ways it is THE set of commandments for the Well-Met Gentleman: The Organic Commandment Love is the virtue of the heart Sincerity the virtue of the mind Decision the virtue of the will Courage the virtue of the spirit. - Frank Lloyd Wright